Blogger Ecstatic

I think my hands need to be surgically removed from my keyboard. I have transformed into a blogger addict. I keep making new blogs and new friends. I.m all over the place. I just love having someplace to empty all my random thoughts and emotions since i don.t usually have deep spill your guts meaningful conversations with my friends. So if you.re reading this blog please watch out for my guts. I.m a very lonely person. I have a few friends, but i haven.t had a best friend in years. I feel trapped in my house and can.t always run to the casual friends to save me me from my boredom, so college is what i.m waiting for. I.m hoping that when i start college i.ll be able to make lasting friends and always have fun things to do all the time. I just really need... a life. I.m going to orientation next week which will give me dose of my life for the next 4 years [1 year if i transfer to cornell, but that.s a story for another time]. I.m scared and exited at the same time. If i make friends it.ll be awesome if i end up being left out the entire time it.ll be a bust. I pray things go well, i really need this. Feeling left out and not having a single place to belong [no matter small] is a feeling i want to get rid of. I want to grow up as a person physically and mentally. I want to live a life i can look back on and smile about, not frown like i do now. When i was in elemenatry school i thought middle school was what i was waiting for. When i was in middle school it was high school. Now the cycle continues, i just hope the cycle of disappointment stops now.